Change of Plans

I finished Siddartha a few nights ago. It was pretty good, I guess.

I was in Barnes and Noble a few days ago and bought The Picture of Dorian Gray. I had a copy last year that I was half way through, but I lost it in Portland when I went there for orientation. Jeez, that seems like so long ago. Either way, I'm rereading it from the beginning, and it's still as amazing as I remember it. It's really brilliant.

I've been practicing the ukulele but I'm not getting any better. I don't really mind, I kinda just enjoy the feeling of it. I'm trying to learn Beirut's "The Penalty". The lyrics to that song really got to me for some reason. Here they are:

Like an ancient day and I'm on trial
Let them seize the way, this once was an island
And I could not stay for I believed them
Left for the lights always in season

Impassable night in a crowd of homesick
Fully grown children, you'll leave the lights
Your family may not wait, Sir, keep on breathing
Our parents rue the day, they find us kneeling
Let them think what they may, for they've good reason
Left for the lights always in season


It's strange but, the lyrics were actually a huge factor in why I chose to go through with Australia. Oh, if I haven't told you already, I applied to study abroad in Australia a few days ago. I've got to turn in transcripts and send in some passport photos and I'll be set. I was really debating about going, only because I feel like I've been moving too much. It's one thing to travel, but I always end up staying in one place long enough for it to just begin to feel like home and then leave. It really fucks with my emotions...I can't figure out why I feel like I must constantly be in motion. I've always thought that my life has been full of bad timing, but it's not. There's no such thing as bad timing, it's just the choices I make.

Anyways, I applied and it's almost set in stone. I know it is going to be an absolutely unforgettable and life changing experience, but I'm sad for some reason. Sad that I'm going to Australia for four months? I sound crazy.

I guess I can't question my decisions...it's funny though, to think of when I was in middle school and how my goals have changed. Back then, I envisioned myself going to school in Southern California, meeting the man of my dreams, and becoming a teacher. haha, it's kind of funny that I only gave up that dream a few years ago. Now I don't really have a plan. I'll probably graduate and then do...something. I guess I'm not really that worried about it....awesome =)




Zach Condon is so sexy, it's kind of unbelievable.