Not a Quitter

I quit Levi's because I realized how silly it is for me to work there. I don't know why it took me so long to realize it....$9/hr, no commission, and managers barking down your back all day. Not my cup-o'-tea.

I took a "Film and Social Justice" class last term and learned some really remarkable (and liberal oriented) affects of corporate America on the rest of the world. Predictably, it was possibly one of the most depressing classes I've ever taken. Almost 90% of what I learned in that class was proven right after working for Levis. I won't rant about it, but I will say that the iconic image they attempt to represent is supposed to be "all-American" or "American Classic", yet absolutely nothing they carry is made in America. And we all know where they're importing it from. 

This is not to say that I did not enjoy working their for a bit. My co-workers were totally awesome, so I'm going to miss that. But I knew it was time to go when I realized how unhappy the job actually made me feel. Simply being pressured to sell people things they don't need.....ahh

Haha, ok, now that that's out of my system.....it's finally finals week! I'm so so so close to being done with this terrible quarter! And the great news is, I did much better than I thought I was going to. I'm not sure what my final grades are, but I'm really not worried about it. 

After Thursday, I will have a month and half off before Australia. No work. No school. I honestly can't imagine how that must feel, haha. I'm going to be so extremely sad if I have to move back to Agoura for the month of January to save rent money. I have this incredible fantasy of spending all my time at the Central Library in Portland, and finally putting my climbing shoes to use at the Rec Center, and camping, and focusing on yoga and meeting incredible people. See, now I'm smiling. And thinking of moving back to Agoura makes me cringe. I guess you could say I have a life in Portland now? aw yay

Speaking of which, last night I decided what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny because I knew all along, but I got side-tracked with the whole idea of wanting to make a lot of money after I graduate. I guess it took quitting Levi's to realize the importance of passion in a career. So, I'm really happy to say that I just want to teach after I graduate. I've got about a year to prepare, which isn't much time, and then I'll get my credentials. Yay for finally choosing something and sticking with it. The thought of teaching makes me smile, too. Then I can stay in Portland if I really want to :)

I still plan to make it to Buenos Aires one day....

Click on it, listen to it, buy it

Black Dub: I Believe In You

so good

Great Lyrics and Depressing Sentiments

This last weekend I went to a really amazing and small kick back/ house show. Some of the musicians were absolutely captivating. One of them did an awesome rendition of this song by the Avett Brothers:




He also played this song by Brett Dennen:





Being at that house and watching those awesome musicians enjoy one and other's company over wine in a dimly lit room (haha, so dreamy) reminded me of the times I used to spend at "the Ranch" back in high school. The Ranch consisted of two small buildings/shacks located on large patch of land in the Santa Monica Mountains. My friend's family settled the land way back in the day, but his grandparents decided to sell it to the government. Unfortunately, the land was taken from my friend and given to the government the year that I graduated from high school. At the Ranch, I experienced some intense and wonderful relationships with truly enlightening people, and always under strangely comfortable circumstances. Hanging out with them made me feel like I was always exactly where I was supposed to be.  


So, as I sat listening to live music with this new group of rascals in Portland, I totally got into my own head. I was thinking about how much I've changed since my Ranch-going days. Comparatively speaking, I have about 10% of the energy and curiosity for life that I used to. Back then my main intentions were focused around experiences: I was going to make life my bitch :). Now, I've wrapped myself so far up in school, work, and stress, that it all turned on me. Life turned me into it's bitch! 


Not to make this any more depressing, but, thinking back on this past week, all the days just seem to melt into one and other. (That reminds me of some lyrics by Modest Mouse: "In this life that we call home, the years go fast and the days go so slow"). By the time I finally get into bed at night to write in my journal and figure it all out, my mental capacity is shot and I can't think of anything. What's even more unfortunate is, I just don't care. I'm utterly and entirely burnt out, and too lazy to do anything about it. Since when did I get so.....pathetic?


On a lighter note, I'm really in love with the fact that I'm experiencing all these depressing sentiments. For quite awhile I was feeling very hollow and disattached. I think it was because I was intentionally ignoring everything about myself that bothered me. Ignoring it makes it go away, right? ha, nope. It kinda just makes you hate yourself. But all this self-reflection is really creating a awesome feeling of awareness in me. The fact that I'm questioning everything means that I will eventually stumble upon an answer. I'll eventually have to figure it out. And so goes karma, the bad turns into good, the confusion into clarity :)


Also, I just signed up for classes in Australia, and I will be booking my flight by the end of the week. On my return flight home from Sydney, I can opt for a "stopover" for an additional $200 and stop in either Fiji or New Zealand for however long I want. They both sound epic. I want to go to New Zealand, but it will be winter by the time I get there, and I won't have the proper attire for a winter in New Zealand. So we will see.  


For awhile, the requirements surrounding this whole Australia thing were just another thing to stress about. For awhile, I was simply making myself do it because I felt like I had to. Now that it's all falling into place, a small but significant inkling of adventure is starting to grab ahold of me again. I'm starting to recognize why I'm making myself go, and that feeling reminds me of the feeling I used to get back at the Ranch :). It makes me feel like my life is mine again. No school, no work, no pressure. Just my decisions and the freedom to move from one place to the next :)




Wait a few seconds for the sound to start in this video, and then enjoy the crap out of it

Head Fashion

Tonight, in my Warner Bros class, we watched I am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang which was released in the early thirties. The movie was surprisingly good, but all I could focus on was how absolutely beautiful the costumes were and, even more importantly, the hats. It made me wonder: a) why can't men wear suits casually all the time anymore? It's so classy and sexy. and b) why on earth did people stop wearing hats to the extent that they used to back in the day?

Pics from I Am a Fugitive

Before I moved back up to Portland this year, I threw away all my beanies from last season and made it a vow to invest in a ton of hats and other head-fitting garments. When I finally got here, I bought an adorable cap from Anthropologie (that my mom may or may not have helped me pay for). Then I got one of those knitted half-beanies, and then I bought an adorable black hat that many people have said looks like a "Grandma" hat. I don't mind though, I'm all about looking like a 90-year-old woman.

That's the hat I got at Anthro. WARNING: Do not go to their website right now and look at their hat section. You will resent buying too many hats, or not having the money to buy any

Naked Bicycle Race

Portland has a few naked bicycle races every year. I hear Europe is way into it also. If I'm in Portland for one of them I might have to join (as in DUH I'm totally going on a naked bicycle race). Although, after considering it, I would prefer to wear underwear.

Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far

I bought a bicycle yesterday. It's my size (miniaturized) and gold with sparkling handle bars and I love it. Today I bought a lock and helmet. Then I sat in my room for about fifteen minutes slowly becoming more and more anxious about having to ride it in public. I haven't been on a bike in like, five years. I finally gathered enough courage and went for it. And it was worth the ride :) I'm absolutely obsessed. I've been riding around all day. When I was younger I used to ride around with no hands, turning corners while putting my hair in a ponytail or just holding the seat. Now I can barely take one hand off without scaring the crap out of myself. So I've set a mini goal for myself: I will ride my bike with no handlebars (sorta like this song) in less than three days. I'm not gonna lie, my bum is soooo sore from today's ride. 

Speaking of bums, I got the job at Levi's. I received the phone call last night, before I was going into my first class of this quarter. I'm hired on as seasonal, but I'm going to make them want me for longer. I've decided that I really love the look that Levi's is going for, and I might stick with the company for awhile. 

So I just decided to look up a whole bunch of Levi's commercials....

I love how somebody whispers "Dacron Polyster" after the narrator says it.

This one's really cute (bad quality, but really cute):

And this one was just done really well:

I think I remember seeing that one on tv back in the day.

Anyways, of course I have a class tomorrow at 10:00 and I decide to get the worst insomnia ever. I should be exhausted from all the bicycling I've been doing.