Lazy Buddha

My brother is getting his degree in culinary arts and he came to visit me in Portland two weeks ago.  He had a bum knee, but I showed him what I could of Portland (which was mainly coffee shops and restaurants, haha).  I wanted to take him to Forest Park, but he could barely walk and it rained all weekend.  Of  course, after he left, the weather cleared up and it's been unbelievably beautiful in Portland lately.  Apparently the bad weather followed him down to LA, because it's been pouring like crazy down there.  I saw a clip of the LA river and there was water actually flowing in it.

 

That portabella mushroom was the cream in my twinkie...

I woke up at 6:45 am today for court after a terrible night's sleep only to discover, upon getting to the court house, that the trial has been pushed back to February.  I was too tired to be very angry.  Katy and I got breakfast instead, and I had the most amazing creme brulee french toast at a place called The Original on 6th and Oak.  If you haven't had it I suggest it.  I was also able to witness a clear and beautiful morning in Portland, which, sadly to say, doesn't happen very often.  All my life I have been a night owl and have never ever enjoyed waking up in the morning.  It's kinda something I really want to change.  Maybe that will be a new resolution.  Weekends kinda fuck that up though.

Anyways, I'm currently in the process of trying to figure out how to gain more energy.  To me, it seems like a paradox that in order to feel more energetic you have to exercise.  Shouldn't it be the opposite? The less you do, the more energy you have.  I suppose that's a weird logic.

I think this is how contemporary Buddha should look:

tehe. My roommate did a great illustration of Portland's Laughing Buddha.  When she gets a picture of it I'll have to upload it.

Buddha always reminds me of a quote by the Dalai Lama that gives me self-confidence and makes me much less awkward:

"You can relate to them (other humans) because you are still a human being, within the human community.  You share that bond.  And that human bond is enough to give rise to a sense of worth and dignity.  That bond can become a source of consolation in the event that you lose everything else”.

I guess the ideal way to gain energy would be the simplest way: Sleep moderately, eat healthy, exercise. Hm, I'd probably look great if I lived that way.

Here's a really great monologue from American Beauty:

Testimony

A few weeks back an incident occurred in my building.  A very large and very drunk fellow entered my room without my permission and made really gross grabs at my booty.  Apparently he had done the same thing to a few other girls in the building, and then allegedly wrestled with some cops.  Today, I received a subpoena in the mail, informing me that I was a witness and that I am charging the guy with third degree sexual assault.

Suddenly, my life is like one of those TV dramas! I'd rather it not be.  I'm considering dropping the charges so I don't have to deal with this whole situation, but I'm sure many hard core feminists would shake their heads at me.

I've always considered my life semi-uneventful; but I suppose it's always been filled with strange and questionable situations that, in the long run, only end up irritating me.

This drawing is by Thom Suzumoto. I found it on Arefuge and believe it is incredible.

In other news, I finished my journal yesterday.  Interestingly, the beginnings and endings of my journals always coincide with the transitional events in my life.  This last one began the week of finals before summer, and ended the first week of classes in my second term at PSU.  It's the fastest I've ever been through a journal.  The move to Portland has inspired a new and almost dependent connection with writing in me.  I wrote almost daily, and documented the majority of my 20th year.  The reason I'm writing this blog is because I have yet to go buy another journal, and I'm feeling uncomfortable.

I impulsively bought a tarot card deck online a few days ago and gave myself my first reading last night. I'm not one to necessarily believe in such things, but I follow the advice it gives because I don't usually receive better advice from others.  I find it hard to find an individual who can simply tell me what to do with utmost confidence.  I like the feeling of guidance, whether or not it is real or fake.  Then I don't have to blame myself if things go wrong.  In the end, it was everything else =)

The entire reading coincided with the question I asked and I was pleasantly surprised with the simplicity of the outcome.

My card for guidance in the issue turned out to be The Fool.  In order to change my current situation, I must begin again without fear of consequences.  That means I have to give up my fear of getting hurt.

It takes sooo much longer to break down a wall than to build it.

Road Trip

The night before New Years Eve I decided to finally have the epiphany I've been waiting for.  I discovered it in the same way I discover most of my epiphany's: late at night while writing in my journal.  I won't bore you with the details, but I basically feel like I broke through the mild seasonal depression I've been experiencing for the past few months.  I suppose I can't really call it an epiphany, actually.  Epiphany's happen when you realize something. In this case, I realized nothing but changed my perspective in order to make myself happier.  It's a great thing.

Either way, New Years Eve was a fun night filled with close friends and weird happenings.  I woke up at 8:00 am the next morning for the long haul back to Portland.  I find it strangely amusing that I had made a drastic personal change on my outlook on life in the last two days of 2009.  And, seeing as I'm an English major, I became very excited about the symbolism surrounding my road trip away from home on New Years Day.  

So, I'm very excited to take in 2010.  After all, this is going to be a very great year.  A few things I've got planned:

--21st Birthday in March!!!!!! 

--Vegas in April 

--Hawaii for 4th of July (Although I find it very distasteful to celebrate American Independence Day in Hawaii what with the history and all, I am very excited)

--Entering my last year in college!!

As you can see, this is a big year for me.  And I'm feeling optimistic and confident about it  =)

I also came across a great video on TedTalks.  Steve Jobs, founder of Apple and Pixar, gives a speech to a graduating class at Stanford.  I was blown away by his speech.  I've attached it below.

I especially like the first part about connecting the events within your life.  He explains how he can look back on his past and see how certain things happened at specific moments to get him to where he is today.  The past becomes a much easier thing to comprehend because it is the equation that led you to the present moment.  Hence, it only makes sense to have faith in what you do and what is done to you now, because one day you will look back and realize that it was all suppose to happen in that certain way.  

All this talk makes me so excited =) Oh, and if you haven't read your horoscope for 2010, you totally should.