Fail

Andrew Bird says, "Being alone, it can be quite romantic"

Tom Robbins says, "While a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment.  Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter"

He also says, "We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love"

And lastly he says, "Funny how we always think of romance as involving two, when the romance of solitude can be ever so much more delicious and intense.  Alone the world offers itself freely to us.  To be unmasked, it has no choice"

Even though I don't have a boyfriend, I try to make my life as romantic as possible.  I go out alone a lot and watch people while listening to really great music.  It's usually along the lines of Kings of Convenience: Quiet is the New Loud or like, the Garden State Soundtrack.  Stuff like that.  Music always manages to make a situation seem more surreal and fuzzy.  

Anyways, usually on these outings I do homework or read and fantasize about my future husband coming up and introducing himself to me in various ways.  So, it was really sunny a few days ago here in Portland, and I decided to bring my homework to the Park Blocks for a date with myself.  I found a sunny patch on the lawn and sat down to wait.  While reading for my Asian American Lit class some bug crash landed on my neck and fell into the grass.  

It scared the crap out of me.  I looked down and there it was...a huge, black fly.  Honestly, really big.  It was crawling up a blade of grass.  I thought it was going to fly off again (although I don't know how it even managed to lift itself, it was so fat) but it didn't, it just kept crawling around.  

I put my pencil down next to it and it hopped on. I started slowly twisting the pencil and the little fatty kept its balance on top, taking little baby steps to stay on.  It was a little circus fly!!  Perhaps my future husband had walked by at that moment, but decided to keep walking because I was playing with a fly.  I put the pencil down and the fly jumped off and burrowed itself into the blades.  It didn't move again and, although I didn't nudge it or anything to make sure, I'm pretty sure it died.